【兔子英语】

【兔子英语】独特的笑话幽默，每周发行1期

Letters Of Recommendations For Employees

For the chronically absent:

"A man like him is hard to find."

"It seemed his career was just taking off."

For the office drunk:

"I feel his real talent is wasted here."

"We generally found him loaded with work to do."

For an employee with no ambition:

"He could not care less about the number of hours he had to put in."

"You would indeed be fortunate to get this person to work for you."

"He consistently achieves the standards he sets for himself."

For an employee who is so unproductive that the job is better left unfilled:

"I can assure you that no person would be better for the job."

For an employee who is not worth further consideration as a job candidate:

"I would urge you to waste no time in making him an offer of employment."

"All in all, I cannot say enough good things about this candidate or recommend him too highly."

Tooth Fairy Form Letter

Dear __________:

Thank you for leaving one tooth under your pillow last night.

While we make every attempt to leave a monetary reward in the case of lost or stolen teeth, we have to say sorry that we are unable to process your request for the following reasons indicated below:

___ the tooth could not be found

___ it was not a human tooth

___ we do not think that pieces of chicken bone are very funny

___ we were unable to approach the tooth due to excessive odor

___ the tooth had previously been redeemed for cash

___ the Tooth Fairy does not process fingernails

___ we're informed that your request has been forwarded to the Nerve Ending Fairy for appropriate action

___ you were overheard to state that you do not believe in the Tooth Fairy

___ you were age 12 or older at the time your request was received

___ the tooth is still in your mouth

___ the tooth was guarded by a vicious fairy-eating dog at the time of our visit

___ no night light was on at the time of our visit

___ the snacks that you provided for the Tooth Fairy were not satisfactory, or were found missing

___ we discovered evidence of unsafe tooth extraction, as follows:

___ string attached

___ pliers marks

___ gunpowder residue

___ hammer marks

___ chisel marks

___ part of skull still attached to tooth

___ no dental care evident

other: _____________

Instead of the usual cash redemption, we have provided a certificate which you may attempt to redeem at a retail store near you. Thank you for your request, and we look forward to serving you again in the future.

Sincerely,

Tooth Fairy Redemption Department

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