【兔子英语】

【兔子英语】独特的笑话幽默，每周发行1期

Medical Records

The following are actual medical records [supposedly] taken from patients' actual medical charts.

* The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.

* Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

* Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.

* She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce.

* The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.

* I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

* The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.

* Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles.

* She is numb from her toes down.

* While in the emergency room, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

* The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

* The patient was to have a bowel resection. However he took a job as a stockbroker instead.

* Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

* Examination reveals a well-developed male lying in bed with his family in no distress.

* Patient was alert and unresponsive.

* When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.

All Wet

Little Johnny came home one night rather depressed.

"What's the matter, Son?" asked his mother.

"Aw, gee," said Little Johnny, "It's my grades. They're all wet."

"What do you mean 'all wet?'"

"You know," he replied, "below C-level."

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