【兔子英语】

【兔子英语】独特的笑话幽默，每周发行1期

A Dog Named SEX

Usually everyone who has a dog calls him Rover or something. I call mine "Sex".

Well, Sex is a very embarrassing name. One day I took Sex for a walk and he ran away from me. I spent hours looking for that dog. A cop came along and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said I was looking for Sex. My court case comes up next Thursday.

One day I went to City Hall to get a license for Sex. The clerk asked me what I wanted, I told him I wanted a license for Sex. He said "I would like to have one too!" When I said "But this is a dog", he said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said "You don't understand. I've had Sex since I was two years old." He replied "You must have been a strong boy."

When I decided to get married I told the minister that I wanted to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding. I said "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole lifestyle revolves around Sex." He said he did not want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in a church. I told him everyone coming to the wedding would enjoy having Sex there. The next day we were married by the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church.

My wife and I took the dog along with us on the honeymoon. When I checked into the motel I told the clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and myself and a special room for Sex. The clerk said that every room in the Motel is for Sex. Then I said "You don't understand. Sex keeps me awake at night" and the clerk said "Me too."

One day I told my friend that I had Sex on TV. He said "Show off." I told him it was a contest and he told me I should have sold tickets.

When my wife and I separated we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married" and the Judge said "Me too." When I told him that after I was married Sex had left me, he said "Me too."

Well now I've been thrown in jail, been married, divorced and had more trouble with that dog than I ever gambled for. Why just the other day when I went for my first visit with the psychiatrist and she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" and I replied, "Well, Sex has died and left my life. It's like losing a best friend and it's so lonely." The doctor said "Look Mister, you and I both know that sex isn't man's best friend. Why not get yourself a dog?"

Mississippi

A bus stopped where two Italian guys got on. After they sat down, they engaged in animated conversation instantly. The lady sitting behind them ignored them at first, but her attention was galvanized when she heard one of the men become graphic.

"Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, they come together. I come again. Two asses come together again. I come again, and pee twice. Den I come once-a more."

"You two foul-mouthed SWINE!!!" said the lady indignantly, "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man, "I'ma justa tellan my friend howa to spella the word 'Mississippi'."

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